I had to post pone my original blog post to address black love. What is black love? Well I know what I would like it to be. It deeply saddens me to see people like Raven Symone, Stacey Dash and Lark Voorhies denounce who they are. On the one hand you can say that they are thinking ahead of their time, to a time where the color of our skin does not matter. That is fine and they are entitled to that opinion. We all have traveled our own twisting and dark roads and we are all at different points in that journey.
It is not just high profile celebrities. The lack of black love and self hate can be seen everywhere. Memes degrading our black men, painting them to be womanizing, no good hucksters who only show up to claim their children for the tax money. Black women painting each other as whores, gold diggers, food stamp selling, neglecting their kids for weaves/wigs, big bootied baffoons. I see husbands and wives that cannot even hold each other up and be happy for one another. It is sad. Family members tearing each other to shreds. The internet and main stream media perpetuates this. Google "positive images of white people". Take a moment to scroll through the pages. Now google "positive images of black people". See the difference? You can play with other combinations of phrases and the outcome is the same. Having award shows and networks with programming for us and by us is not segregating us. It is giving us a platform in a world that still does not see us as equal to our White brothers and sisters. They award other races as well but if you really focus on the intent behind why these types of awards and networks were created, you will see it is not a further extension to divide lines. I have also heard the argument that if White people did it... they do. The major networks NBC,ABC, the award shows that they have.; They were not created with diversity in mind. Yes things are getting better. But no one has to call a network a White network or call a show White programming for all of us to know what it is. If tv was truly trying to represent the real world we live in, White people would not be the majority and play the main character in almost every show that these major networks put out. That same message is seen repeatedly, other races are just the supporting role. A prop. Commercials are more diverse these days than actual programming. But that is not the root of the issue here. In fact...
We get so angry about what other people are saying about us but we do not always hold ourselves accountable and make each other live up to them same scrutiny. Why is it so hard for us to congratulate one another, lift one another up, and celebrate the beautiful, strong people that we are? I do not want to spend my time in this blog with a historical account of Willie Lynch programming. We all know about that already. We didn't wait for the people who enslaved us to free us so why are we waiting for people to validate who we are now? Why do we feel that we have to fit into a white construct in order to matter, in order to feel that we are validated.
We have to start with ourselves. Are you personally accountable for how you feel about yourself? As I type I am starring into the mirror and telling myself that I love what I see. It feels good to stare yourself down, make eye contact with yourself. I love my brown skin, my naturally curly hair, unique hair texture, my almond eyes, high cheek bones, wide nose and full lips. I love that I see my Mexican mother and my Black father starring back at me when I look into my eyes. I love my frame and my size. The scar on my face, the perfection of imperfection. My stretch marks, constant beautiful memories of my children that God almighty blessed me with. I am good with myself. I love myself. That is an irrefutable fact, no one can dispute the love that I have for myself. I encourage you all to do this. It is not easy to accept yourself, not just the beauty either- But the mistakes, all of your faults, the skeletons pushed back in that closet. No this task is not for the faint at heart. It may take you a few tries to do it, but the day that you can look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself that you love who you are wholeheartedly, that is the day that the dark road you are on starts to clear. Your heart is lifted and the world that you felt you were carrying on your shoulders starts to become lighter.
Once you make peace with yourself, I believe it is your duty to be able to look others in the eye and do the same. See them for the beautiful person that they are. What is it going to hurt to speak to your fellow brothers and sisters in passing? And maybe just maybe throw out an honest pleasantry or honest compliment? This is the foundation for us to build our communities back up. Right now there are too many of us not investing in where we live. We send our kids to a charter school out in the "good neighborhood" instead of working with the school board and local leaders to make sure the school on our own block is not just adequate but an excellent center for learning. We go and shop at Target or the co-op instead of supporting the local business owner and instead of fighting to put these same amenities into our own neighborhood. We go to a main stream beauty shop like Aveda instead of the local barber or beautician. We spend all of our time trying to escape where we come from instead of trying to make it what we want. Nothing is going to get better on it's own. We have to make the change. We have to drive the change ourselves. What are we waiting for?
This is not about being anti-white. This is about love and respect for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with loving ourselves. I know some of you are white and this makes you uncomfortable. I can assure you that is not my intent. This is about education and provocation of positive thought for a better and prosperous tomorrow. Understand and realize that Black people are in a unique situation. For the most part, most of us do not know where we come from. Our history is lost. We are making our own history and trying to find our place in the world. We cannot trace our ancestry because it was erased. Our last names are made up. No family crest, no old money, nothing to go back to but slavery. It is not that we cannot get over it and we want to make you feel bad. You should feel bad. It was a horrible thing that was done. It is ok to empathize. White guilt is real. But turn that around. In order for us to move forward, these thinks have to be acknowledged and understood in the proper context.
There is so much beauty in our special differences that each and every people on this planet have. I personally find so much beauty in learning from other cultures and embarrassing it. I like being able to share in their joy such as in Ramadan for example. It is important to reach across the table and share. For in recognizing our unique cultural differences, you recognize how much the same we all are. There is nothing to fear. It is so much easier to be willing to accept someone than to reject them. Rejection and hate take so much energy. Love is seamless and natural.
Black love has to be born out of acceptance of ones self and others. Once we learn to love ourselves. many of the issues we face will resolve on their own and for the ones that remain, We will be in a unified and positive place to be able to resolve them with much ease and certainty of the outcome. You cannot begin to love someone else if you do not love yourself. Jealousy, hatred, bigotry, and racism are based on 2 things: being scared of what you have not sought to understand and not loving yourself enough to love someone else. We all have to be willing to reach across the aisle and take that leap of faith. The future of ourselves and humanity as a whole depends on it.
It is not just high profile celebrities. The lack of black love and self hate can be seen everywhere. Memes degrading our black men, painting them to be womanizing, no good hucksters who only show up to claim their children for the tax money. Black women painting each other as whores, gold diggers, food stamp selling, neglecting their kids for weaves/wigs, big bootied baffoons. I see husbands and wives that cannot even hold each other up and be happy for one another. It is sad. Family members tearing each other to shreds. The internet and main stream media perpetuates this. Google "positive images of white people". Take a moment to scroll through the pages. Now google "positive images of black people". See the difference? You can play with other combinations of phrases and the outcome is the same. Having award shows and networks with programming for us and by us is not segregating us. It is giving us a platform in a world that still does not see us as equal to our White brothers and sisters. They award other races as well but if you really focus on the intent behind why these types of awards and networks were created, you will see it is not a further extension to divide lines. I have also heard the argument that if White people did it... they do. The major networks NBC,ABC, the award shows that they have.; They were not created with diversity in mind. Yes things are getting better. But no one has to call a network a White network or call a show White programming for all of us to know what it is. If tv was truly trying to represent the real world we live in, White people would not be the majority and play the main character in almost every show that these major networks put out. That same message is seen repeatedly, other races are just the supporting role. A prop. Commercials are more diverse these days than actual programming. But that is not the root of the issue here. In fact...
We get so angry about what other people are saying about us but we do not always hold ourselves accountable and make each other live up to them same scrutiny. Why is it so hard for us to congratulate one another, lift one another up, and celebrate the beautiful, strong people that we are? I do not want to spend my time in this blog with a historical account of Willie Lynch programming. We all know about that already. We didn't wait for the people who enslaved us to free us so why are we waiting for people to validate who we are now? Why do we feel that we have to fit into a white construct in order to matter, in order to feel that we are validated.
We have to start with ourselves. Are you personally accountable for how you feel about yourself? As I type I am starring into the mirror and telling myself that I love what I see. It feels good to stare yourself down, make eye contact with yourself. I love my brown skin, my naturally curly hair, unique hair texture, my almond eyes, high cheek bones, wide nose and full lips. I love that I see my Mexican mother and my Black father starring back at me when I look into my eyes. I love my frame and my size. The scar on my face, the perfection of imperfection. My stretch marks, constant beautiful memories of my children that God almighty blessed me with. I am good with myself. I love myself. That is an irrefutable fact, no one can dispute the love that I have for myself. I encourage you all to do this. It is not easy to accept yourself, not just the beauty either- But the mistakes, all of your faults, the skeletons pushed back in that closet. No this task is not for the faint at heart. It may take you a few tries to do it, but the day that you can look yourself in the eyes and tell yourself that you love who you are wholeheartedly, that is the day that the dark road you are on starts to clear. Your heart is lifted and the world that you felt you were carrying on your shoulders starts to become lighter.
Once you make peace with yourself, I believe it is your duty to be able to look others in the eye and do the same. See them for the beautiful person that they are. What is it going to hurt to speak to your fellow brothers and sisters in passing? And maybe just maybe throw out an honest pleasantry or honest compliment? This is the foundation for us to build our communities back up. Right now there are too many of us not investing in where we live. We send our kids to a charter school out in the "good neighborhood" instead of working with the school board and local leaders to make sure the school on our own block is not just adequate but an excellent center for learning. We go and shop at Target or the co-op instead of supporting the local business owner and instead of fighting to put these same amenities into our own neighborhood. We go to a main stream beauty shop like Aveda instead of the local barber or beautician. We spend all of our time trying to escape where we come from instead of trying to make it what we want. Nothing is going to get better on it's own. We have to make the change. We have to drive the change ourselves. What are we waiting for?
This is not about being anti-white. This is about love and respect for ourselves. There is nothing wrong with loving ourselves. I know some of you are white and this makes you uncomfortable. I can assure you that is not my intent. This is about education and provocation of positive thought for a better and prosperous tomorrow. Understand and realize that Black people are in a unique situation. For the most part, most of us do not know where we come from. Our history is lost. We are making our own history and trying to find our place in the world. We cannot trace our ancestry because it was erased. Our last names are made up. No family crest, no old money, nothing to go back to but slavery. It is not that we cannot get over it and we want to make you feel bad. You should feel bad. It was a horrible thing that was done. It is ok to empathize. White guilt is real. But turn that around. In order for us to move forward, these thinks have to be acknowledged and understood in the proper context.
There is so much beauty in our special differences that each and every people on this planet have. I personally find so much beauty in learning from other cultures and embarrassing it. I like being able to share in their joy such as in Ramadan for example. It is important to reach across the table and share. For in recognizing our unique cultural differences, you recognize how much the same we all are. There is nothing to fear. It is so much easier to be willing to accept someone than to reject them. Rejection and hate take so much energy. Love is seamless and natural.
Black love has to be born out of acceptance of ones self and others. Once we learn to love ourselves. many of the issues we face will resolve on their own and for the ones that remain, We will be in a unified and positive place to be able to resolve them with much ease and certainty of the outcome. You cannot begin to love someone else if you do not love yourself. Jealousy, hatred, bigotry, and racism are based on 2 things: being scared of what you have not sought to understand and not loving yourself enough to love someone else. We all have to be willing to reach across the aisle and take that leap of faith. The future of ourselves and humanity as a whole depends on it.
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